Letter #1

Little Imp,

I have no idea how you acquired my contact information, but I ceased from the loathsome business of mentoring tempters a long time ago. I am afraid you must seek elsewhere for a mentor.

Whom gave you my contact information? The dean of your respective school of tempting is a long time acquaintance of mine, and knows I have no desire to take on young proteges. I need a name. Nothing would please me more than to see your source squirm when I turn him in to Andromalius, so that he can unleash his legions to feed upon his flesh for a decade or so.

Indeed, you are fortunate that your name is so long, and such an unorthodox combination of letters. I refuse to turn you in for following through with your source's advise. Why, even reading your name fatigues me, and I am wearied at the mere thought of attempting to write it down. Perhaps you should have chosen better. Such a long name warrants either high academic marks, or a pretentious disposition beyond compare. Which is it?

So, little imp, I see you have attached a copy of your profile to your letter. I shall peruse it while I wait for your reply. Be quick. Every nerve in my body tingles with the anticipation of getting to devour the one who thought my time and energy could be wasted on the likes of you.

Your voracious host,
Count Apateó̱n